Socs – “Cal”

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “starts with cal.” Use a word starting with the letters “cal” as your prompt word. Have fun!

Calling – what’s my calling? What is my life’s purpose? Why am I here and what am I doing here?

These questions are on my mind more than required nowadays. Somehow I am just not able to figure it out. If I ask my kid, what she wants to become.. she is so crystal clear with her answer. As an adult, why is finding the answer so difficult?

I have dreams. Some are significant, some are trivial. I work towards realising them. I’ve read that when a person is working towards a goal in life, they are driven, they are happy. Why am I not happy from within? This means I haven’t given a serious thought on my dreams and goals isn’t it?

I dont know when I will become aware, awakened or enlightened about the purpose of this life! But I’ve learned that I need to live this moment and not get anxious of the future or depressed about the past.

I have a wallpaper that says “ignite your passion, find your calling”. All I need is a matchstick.. to ignite .. and find that ‘passion’.

Now… I wonder … if my post makes sense at all. It’s SoCS and so I’ll follow the rules and post it as it is. Raw! Any of you in the same boat? I’m looking for a fellow traveller

By the way Happiness day was March 20th and 21st is international poetry day. My wishes to all you writers out there 🥰 just want to let you know, I admire your work a lot.

❤️keep inspiring ❤️

Are you lying?

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “-sty.” Find a word that ends in “-sty” or use the word “sty.” Enjoy!

—- Linda’S SoCS prompt

The first word that came to my mind – Honesty

If there’s one thing that I value most from my first circle, it’s honesty.

You don’t want to be my friend? Thinking of getting rid of connections with this me? Just tell a lie.. (that will affect me personally).. it’s that simple 🙌🙌😀.

I can take any bitter truth but not a lie. It was just one month after my second kid that my husband suddenly had serious health issues. He had to undergo a major surgery. I was at my mom’s then. His cousins had suggested to avoid telling me the truth so that it doesn’t disturb me much. What if I slip into depression? My husband completely denied it! He had called me the same day and updated everything with a prior warning to stay calm. This situation made me so strong unexpectedly, that I was ready to face ANYTHING! 🙏But a white lie would have left me broken. It’s this understanding that has kept us going for 15 years I guess😊❤️

This reminds me of another incident; my first HR interview where I was asked “what are the two values you truly stand by?” I had answered immediately “honesty” and had taken time for the second one, and said “commitment”. You know how good HR’s are in testing our responses and thinking ability!!!!!!! He had cleverly put up a situation where I had to give up on one of them. 45 minutes of intense discussions in the interview and getting carried away with numerous questions and cross questions, even without me realising it, I hadn’t given up on honesty!! 😬 At the end he gave me a compliment, on my presence of mind and inbuilt value system, and those words will stay with me forever ❤️

What’s your core value? Would love to know.

❤️Thanks for dropping by and reading ❤️

First things first

SoCS by Linda: Your prompt for #JusJoJan and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “first thing.” Start your post with the words, “first thing” and go from there. Bonus points if you end your post with the last thing. Have fun!

The first thing I do in the morning is “make my bed”. I grew up in a small house and me and my brother slept in the hall (or the living room). So to walk on the floor the next day, we had to roll the bed, arrange bed spreads on them neatly and cover it up with a bed sheet. That would become a three seater to sit on for the rest of the day.

This act of waking up at a particular time, making the bed as soon as we got up; set a rhythm for other tasks of the day. The day went smooth. We all knew the time we would take to get ready, we never shifted our times as there was a single bathroom and by 9a.m. all of us must be ready to step out! It set an order for the day.

Now, first of all, my husband doesn’t have the habit of folding the bedspreads!!! I get up and fold it and in about an hour he would have unfolded it and comfortably snuggled himself again! I keep telling my kids to make it a habit of folding the bed sheets after they get up! They do listen most of the times… but when they forget… the first thing they do is point fingers at their dad!! 😅😅😅

I’m yet to set that discipline in them of making their bed and not going back to get snuggled up in the rug often. Or, fold the bed sheets again when done! Sometimes I feel I’m being too pushy on them. My husband is very disciplined otherwise. He is very prompt with all his tasks. I’ve grown up with my parents and grandparents teaching me that it’s an important practise to make the bed in the morning and my husband feels it’s not so! I wonder now, is it really needed!!??? Is it my OCD again? 😅

Money matters

Your prompt for #JusJoJan and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “sky’s the limit.” Write about something that has or seems to have no end. Enjoy!

Linda’s SoCS prompt

This is an easy prompt for me today, because our architect told it just today morning

In my mother tongue there’s a saying “maduve maadi noDu, mane katti nodu” meaning “Perform a wedding or build a house …. and see..” referring to how the money just flows out of the pocket in these two events. They are the most challenging to plan with respect to finances. I’m talking about an average middle class Indian family. The total expenses exceed budget in a drastic way if we neglect a little.

We were discussing budgeting of the house we are going to build. Our architect showed us a project he had worked on recently. It was beautiful and elegant. We loved it. Every inch was neatly done. He said the cost of interiors there is equal to the initial estimate of construction of our house!!

He gave us many examples and ended the conversation saying .. “if you have money to spend on building a house, sky is the limit”.

Neither do we have that kinda money nor we fancy that very posh look, so we settled for something midway . If sky is the limit, we settled for the first layer of atmosphere, for that’s our reality😊

In the corner

Your prompt for #JusJoJan and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “in the corner.” Write about whatever the image or thought of “in the corner” brings to mind. Have fun!

In the corner of my mind

There is a Read only memory

Which is accessed anytime randomly

It’s a bag filled with moments of my life

Some so bright like the sunshine

Some dark than the darkest night

Any small thing I see

Any random word I hear

It’s always mapped to here

Mind picks up a memory from this corner

And presses the play button

And my mind drifts to that moment in the past

Some moments bring joy

Some moments bring a tear

This memory is so flawless… I fear!!!

Live in the present they say

Sure I’ll try, help me please, be kind

Format this disk, in the corner of my mind

Best out of waste

Linda’s Socs prompt word for this week is: box

Whenever I see a box, an empty box, my mind runs!! I keep thinking how best I can make use of it!

– a small carton box is converted to a stationary holder.

Craft paper n stationary holder

– I make boxes quite fast to pack sweets to anyone visiting home.

– A big carton box is given a face lift with colourful paper, and used to stack daily newspapers.

News paper holder. It’s four years old and I need to make a new one 😊

– a throw away toy box is converted to a mini showcase, which displays a Lego house made by my daughter.

So anytime I see an empty box, I think out of the box, on how to make best use of that box and not throw it away!! 😊

Thanks so much for reading and I love feedback 😊

A friend magnet

Linda’s SoCS prompt word for this week is – magnet

I was called a friend magnet. I think I was a good listener, I could empathise with people, it was tough for me to say NO, and I usually had a smile on my face. Till I was in high school, I felt very good about it. I won the election for a school captain, I was teacher’s favourite, my relatives were all praises for me and so, I felt happy about being the friend magnet or people magnet.

Slowly with age thoughts change, priorities change, realities of life start to show up and I started to retrospect if being the people pleaser is good after all!!! Here’s are some drawbacks

1. People take you for granted. I felt people just walked over me.

2. Our true opinion is never known sometimes. I realised I thought too much in other people’s shoes and put in a lot of effort to make people comfortable and to make them feel that their opinion counts. It was so not worth it, I dint feel content and my view was never heard!

3. Being the Agony aunt/ councellor. I love to talk to people and hear them out. But some people’s negative vibes, rubbed on too much. I used to feel drained and needed time to get back to normalcy. I wondered if giving so much time and energy was necessary. And also, somehow I started getting into the counselling mode. I realised this when my friend said, ‘I paid 5k to a psychologist but talking to you felt better!!!’ No that’s not where I wanted to be. She was a depression patient and I am no where a counsellor. So I reversed the pole of my magnet 😅

4. It’s hard to get work done from people. This I realised in my business. Talking softly, not being stern will never get the work done! Magnet mode off! 💝

5. A hole in the pocket. I became an easily approachable money-lender. This I don’t regret much, but helping some people was not worth it. I could help someone else.

6. The final nail was when I didn’t support my husband on a major decision (my first thought was that he will understand. He will know, that I spoke so because I wanted to make his aunt comfortable) and I learnt a lesson that day. He said “Can you please for once think it out and stand up for yourself and stop thinking about others feeling bad!’ It was a very valid point actually!!! why should I suffer within, to keep others happy? That “other” does not think about me at all anyways!!

From that day I try to keep myself, my thoughts, my happiness on priority! ❤️ I need to be happy first 😊that’s it! I need not have any magnetic properties 😊

The below pic, I scored a 10 on 10… but … I’m working on scoring less 😊.

Big shoe rack

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “mini/maxi.” Use “mini” (the smallest of something) or “maxi” (the largest) or both in your post. Have fun!

“I want a minimum of 3 pairs of footwear. One shoes, one slippers and one fancy wear. I don’t mind having a few more with shimmers which I can wear occasionally. Having a red and a golden will be a good idea too. So it’s better we plan for a big shoe rack in the new house” said my daughter in one of our discussions.

Well how times have changed, I thought. Even now, for me minimum is one pair of sandals which go with everything! The kind of financial state me and my brother grew up in, if the slipper lasted one year it was a big joy! We could avoid ruining its look by stitches and glues! And with all the face lift we would have to use it, till it was no longer usable! It’s still difficult for me to spend lavishly on footwear ………and my daughter says this. I avoided my dose of “regular preaching” with great difficulty 😅

It’s not Optional

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “opt.” Use it as a word or find a word with “opt” in it and base your post on that. Have fun!

Well what I have in mind right now is not ‘fun’ though, as Linda’s prompt says. It’s the first thought on my mind for opt- Optional.

A few years ago, my cousin sitting on his two wheeler offered to drop me off to my music class as it was on the way for him. I readily agreed. Then I realised I do not have my helmet with me. He immediately said “Don’t worry it’s optional. Just hop in and I will drop you there in five minutes”

It got me thinking! Why are traffic rules made? Do you wear the helmet to avoid paying a fine of 500Rs to the traffic police or for your own safety? You may think you are the best driver, and that you will not be the cause of accidents. But what can we do about other riders not being careful. “If I die, Its my destiny” I hear people say. Well this is almost suicidal isn’t it?

The same thoughts on wearing seatbelt too. Inside a car, a person feels he is safe from accidents I guess. How many times we ask the ones at the navigator seat to wear seat belt mandatorily on long road trips! The immediate reaction is “I will take you through the roads where there will be no cops” or “I will wear it immediately when I spot a policeman. I feel trapped wearing seatbelt”!!I feel like explaining the basics again on why one should wear a seatbelt, but these people are the ones that conclude that we are arrogant or rude on them.

I’m glad that the helmet and seatbelt are made mandatory now here in Bangalore. It’s no longer just Optional. Though driving at high speed is not possible due to traffic here, I still feel seat belt is a must. Road safety starts with us

Thanks for reading 😊

Last-in-first-out

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “the last thing you put in your fridge.” Start your post with the last thing you put in your fridge. Let your mind wander from there. Enjoy!

Well, somehow, my take on Linda’s SoCS prompts, revolves around my kids. I think it’s synonymous to its title … that’s where my Stream of consciousness leads me to 😄

Every night after dinner. my second daughter drinks a glass of warm milk before she goes to bed. It’s a habit started by her grandparents and it’s going on the past four years. So around 9pm, I heat some milk and keep it ready for her to drink at 9. 45 or so. The temperature will be perfect for her to drink and she doesn’t fuss.

This is when things are just perfect. It’s never that way …. ever! What usually happens is, I forget to heat the milk and at 9.45 I remember to heat it and then I need to cool it. By the time I get it to my daughter, she is fast asleep. And so that milk with one tea spoon added sugar goes in the fridge!

I dislike to re use the boiled and cooled pasteurised milk, kept in the fridge. My morning filter coffee has to be with fresh decoction and fresh milk. Otherwise somehow, the coffee is never refreshing because my mind knows it’s yesterday’s milk. No one else in family takes coffee with sugar and I do not like to reheat that milk and give it to my daughter again. When I myself don’t want to drink re heated milk, I do not feel like giving to my daughter.

So to avoid this mess up, some days I keep a reminder to heat milk at 9 pm. And everything goes perfect. Happy to have done it to perfection, with that self content feeling I give the glass to my daughter ….. (and you know how kids are)….. she says “I am full I don’t want milk today 🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️” I feel like just putting it into her throat somehow and emptying that glass into her tummy 😄. Somehow I don’t feel like wasting it at all. Not for this reason. So, the glass of milk again goes into the fridge. Not again!!!

The last thing I want, is the last glass of milk going to the fridge and becoming the first thing I take next morning. Nooooooo!