Having walked on roads, you are yet to see,

May be I’ve seen life a little more than thee?

Every wrinkle is an experience I’ve lived through

Have seen a lot more sunrises and hurricanes too

I’ve held your hand, I’ve helped you walk

I’ve been with you when you learned to talk

Spent many sleepless nights when you are sick

Chose family over career, when I had to pick

Fulfilled my responsibilities of a parent to a child

It was my duty, my priority and I did it all in stride

I was not dependent, until my mind was sane

I don’t know if you realise, I’m now a child again

My insecurities are humongous, can you understand?

I can’t do things alone, I need a helping hand

Taking care is not giving me a room or two,

Demanding me to live the way you want me to!!

Taking care is to empathise, settle if there’s strife

Help me live and let me enjoy the last leg of life!

You whinge that I have high expectations from you

Truth is, you know not, what I truly want from you

Few minutes of your day, can you sit by my side

Ask me how I am, keeping everything else aside

Empathise, Show me your love, show me that you care

Now when I am alive, not on my empty chair…

© ruhappysoul

“The last two lines in bold is my response to Akanksha’s Twenty Word Tuesday prompt: Support

I’m not at all against children who send their parents to old age homes. In fact it may be a very good option to both sides. With old age comes health issues. Both physical and psychological. The insecurities creep in. They realise that they are no more capable of doing the tasks they used to do few years ago. It’s hard to accept for some. Their frustrations and worries come out in different ways and for the children, who’s life is filled with stress all together, it may be too much to take. I think we should keep reminding ourselves to be patient and empathetic while talking to them. We should make it a point to spend some quality time and hear them out, even if what they speak doesn’t make sense to us, even if our advices for them are not implemented, even if they go ahead and do things which we had warned them against doing, even if they do ANYTHING against our wish. They are our parents, we dint chose them. They have cared for us. However they are, they are ours! It’s our responsibility to support them when they are kids again.

Wrote this post with my emotions overflowing seeing an old aunt go through a rough patch. Hope it makes sense! Thanks for reading

34 thoughts on “Taking care

    1. Thank you so much Ramya. Words just came smoothly here. My disturbed mind is the reason I guess. I so understand old age is a problem, but I feel empathising can be done atleast.

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  1. This is so emotional Ru! It’s brilliant. I really have no words for it. Old age brings lots of health issues majorly psychological but with slight care, their life can be made better.

    I visited a old age home when I was in 5th standard through school. There was an aunty who thought one of my batchmate as her grand daughter. She cried hugging her and showered love on her her. She was not ready to leave her at all. We got really afraid of that aunty. The nun their told our teacher in charge that she was left by her son at the railway station 4 years on pretext of buying ticket. She has been waiting for her family since then. I really didn’t have much understanding but it seemed inhumane and at present I still think it’s inhumane on her son’s part! He could have willingly left her at some old age home instead of leaving and giving a lifelong trauma.

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    1. Thank you so much Zish… I love it when you said brilliant. Used to hear it in school days n not after that 😄

      Very rightly said Zi… a slight care can make things much better.. we have to accept that they don’t understand our stress levels.. they want attention and a few minutes is all that’s needed

      The story is so disturbing .. I wonder how can anyone do that, I am reading the book “wise and otherwise” by Sudha murthy. She has narrated such incidents and it’s such a shocker!!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Usha. I’m glad it did so. I totally understand taking care of aged parents will be a problem at some stage. We may not be able to handle the physical n psycho changes. So making alternate arrangements, taking help or anything for the comfort of both is totally ok I feel. Even if they are in an old age home, we can call and speak to them or visit often was my thought.

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  2. I’m actually divided with this, I know that parents took care of their child until they can be on their own and it’s fair that their children should be patient with them when their minds and body are failing them. But also parents need to set their child free so that they can have their own life.

    But personally I could never send away my mom for somebody else to take care of her. 🥺 I could never imagine that.

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    1. Absolutely agree.. parents have to give that space for the children to run their family, not intrude in privacy, take a back seat when they decide on snythinv etc etc. its absolutely ok to stay separate or in care homes too. But when kids don’t even call them for months and when the mom waits for his son’s phone call… my heart melts. Can we not respond to them and make a few phone calls is what I feel.

      Your mom is blessed 😇and so are you ❤️

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    1. Perfectly summarised. I would want to be by myself when I’m old. And I feel that’s ok. There’s no point in trying to expect our parents to change their behaviour at the age of 80 I feel… these things we kids have to accept n move on I guess 😊

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  3. You wonder if this makes sense,
    I am amazed really, how you’ve inculcated all the emotions in a poem and that too with unbeatable rhyme! Commendable work Smiley👏

    If we talk about the poem, it’s just so beautiful and I so connected to everything that’s said, especially the last lines, the concluding stanza, worth appreciating.

    I am falling short of words to describe how I feel right now.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You know what Rashmi, this may be one of my fastest written poems. Words just came by. I put very little effort. May be the feeling for my dear aunt was so strong that I dint have to think much on what to write.

      And that same day I got the twenty word story prompt, I just added one word to the last two lines and it came through!

      I so understand that it’s difficult to take care of people at their old age. And making alternate arrangements may be fine too if it works out. But why do people be rude and just don’t show their love and care…. it’s her own son … who would want her by side side all the time when he’s unwell etc etc … can’t he understand that with age comes some ailments… it amazes me!
      I hope I can keep focus and do my duties for my parents and in-laws when such situation comes up. I don’t connect with my in-laws very much, but that doesn’t matter is what I feel. They are loved ones who need empathy. That’s about it 🙏

      Long rant message here 🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️

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